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cowbellguy:

Hand jobs and blow jobs are called jobs because they’re tedious and dicks are gross. Going down on a girl is called eating out because it’s a privilege.

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  • 2 minutes ago
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charl-plural:

bloodbending:

noctstiel:

bloodbending:

bloodbending:

idea: the porn olympics, where people compete to have the most nsfw stuff on their monitors as dangerously close to their parents as possible without them seeing

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GAME START

why is your dad shirtless

he’s hispanic it happens

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i win

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mama-bird:

coffeeandklonopin:

coffeeandklonopin:

carpe diem - seize the day

carpe noctem - seize the night

carpe natem - seize the ass

Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.

carpe collum - seize the neck

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wawaqueen:

Girls who wear light colored pants during their period deserve a medal for their bravery

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